Wednesday, 13 February 2013


i think the last time that we were truly honest to each other..really opened up to each other was the night before i went to college..we were scared that college were going to pull us right we were...afterwards..i guess things have never been the same...the distance didn't really play a role..but maybe our friends changed...and everything changed..i was really shocked at first when i first found out...and sad maybe..i mean..we weren't anything official or anything..but i always felt that we don't need any official word to make it any truer than it already is..and i dare to write this cause i know that you don't care about me enough anymore to find out anything about a way i guess..that does make me sad..and really..truly.i don't blame anyone in this's all my fault..i plunged in..and it was too hard..i couldn't climb i just stared at the light and wished that one day..i too can reach it..knowing the theory is easy..but hey..practical is an entirely different thing. At first i didn't recognize what it was..i was foreign..i should have just followed nature...when a pathogen, a foreign substance enters the body...the b cells and T helper cells recognize them...t helper cell secrete lymphokines and help B cells to carry out mitosis more vigourously and thus secreting more antibodies and destroying...the unknown..i should have stopped myself from going further..and now it's just too see..i'm used to getting what i want...chasing what i want..saying what i want...never thinking bout it..cause that's just how i am..and all this songs isn't helping friends say that we should treat our hearts with our real lover..i should follow their advices

Wednesday, 6 February 2013

the ache

The feeling is like your heart is being shredded into pieces
it's like your heart is being torn into halves
you cant breathe
your chest hets really tight
and your eyes stings
it feels red
it feels teary
but you're not gonna let if fall
cause it's not the right thing to do
cause people say it's wrong
cause people say your tears are too valuable to be wasted for something so 'invaluable'
so you just hold it inside you
and wish that the feeling disappears into thin air
you hope that one morning
when you wake up...maybe..just maybe the feeling will go along with the night
You know what's right and what's wrong
but you know that to do it is so very hard
thought that it didn't really exist in the real world
thought that the songs were imaginary
but you fall
you fall really deep and the walls are so tall and so slippery
you try to climb your way up
but the higher you climb the harder it is when you accidentally fell
so in the end, people look into the hole and wave to you
they try to pull you up but gravity keeps pulling you down
and maybe you're not making the effort to get out of the mess
every time words of love and care are exchanged
your heart blooms
and when reality slaps you hard,
it was never that awful
you are just second or third or maybe last
compared to her you are nothing
to the world you do not exist
you do not live
you do not matter
you are you
and he is he
and she is she
and them
and the box is not for you to reach
the box is not for you to tear
so when the feelings call out to you and you answer
the weird thing doesn't echo...
so you just hurt by yourself
your heart still ache
it cannot breathe no matter how deep you inhale...
your eyes still sting...and still no tear fell...
so you just sit by yourself...keep blinking your eyes in the dark
wondering..thinking...and running
from truth
from yourself
so suffer is the final answer?