Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Him

So a certain someone told me that I haven't updated my blog in a long time..haha that's true. Actually I have so many to write but then again to see it in printing..makes it so much more real than it really is. Or maybe I'm just trying to fool myself into making myself believe that it is not that real when in reality it really is. I just couldn't find the bravery to write the entry in my diary cause then I would have to admit to myself how wrong it is. Whatever I was doing.

Words have a way to creep deep into your soul and makes you feel things you didn't know exist. Emotions have their own way of overpowering yourself. Making you do things that you know is wrong. Even while you're doing it. Haihhh. You feel sad. You feel upset. But mostly you feel angry with yourself. Cause you can't control yourself. Control. Control. Control. Toughest thing to do in the whole wide world.

Every time you're doing it, you're going to feel angry. Just pure selfishness and anger. Maybe not you. Maybe just me. Or maybe not maybe at all. Just just. Confused? Trust me. It's something much more complicated than that. Here in this soul is a very messed up heart that doesn't really know what to do. Or maybe she knows but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. Old habit dies hard. Very hard.

Tried holding myself back before. Having a phone is kinda troublesome sometimes. When you don't have much of a self-control. So here it goes. I'll just spell it out for you. Haih. Or you probably know what I'm talking about. Or not. Or yes. Whichever works for you. When people used to say that teen age are very confusing, I didn't believe it at first. I mean how confusing can it really get? Super confusing it turned out to be. When curiosity weighs out rationality. When love cancels out logic. When crushes crush you. Literally. Haha.  I tweet. I say stuff. I feel stuff. I need things. Things and stuff I don't even understand. Things and stuff I don't really comprehend.
sje letk gmbr emo sikit. haha

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