Wednesday, 17 October 2012

never would have thought....

my blog so my posts i guess. if the post doesn't offend anyone, should be no problem i guess. I can't bear to read my friends blog cause then the memories will start pouring in and there's no way to stop it. The feeling is massive and everything triggers it. didn't and never would have thought it would be this bad you know missing my friends. Never would have thought it would be this bad to be missing ma boy session in the dorm. Never would have thought it would be this bad in loving the sound of music in the class. The sound of people shouting ayam in the canteen. The sound of girls running to escape the rain after coming back from the mufaz. The sound of paper against each other in the fury of finishing the homework.

Never would have thought the memories would run this deep and yes, gonna run deeper with no knowledge of it stopping. Never would have thought the thoughtless conversation would now mean so much. Never would have thought the caress of the wind the night at the corridor would be that soft and to be missed too much. To miss the dimness of the light in the dorm. Some studying. Some sleeping away.

Never would have thought the thought of it would last this long and this hard. No way to end it. Not even sure I want to end it. It's that beautiful. And because of that, the pain of it all seems so hard to withstand. To be kept inside. To be an attempt to blend my way in. Having to start all over again. To know that what truth lies within the personality in mine. To truly know to myself that all of it is a facade. where does the truth lies when I don't even know what's true and what's not anymore.........