Friday, 31 August 2012

kekeliruan itu menyeksakan

kdg situasi itu seksa.
 kadang saat itu sukar.
 lazim, hidup itu duka.
lazim juga hidup itu suka
cuka atau gula, pilihan ada pada kita
sesaat itu keliru,
sedetik itu gusar
kadang2 diri tidk mmpu
selalu diri ini pasrah
namun selalu juga diri ini tabah
kerna sahabat ibu dn pencipta
saat subjek memeningkan
saat kau mendebarkan
saat kau mengecewakan
aku seksa
aku suka
aku duka
Allah tetap ada
walau kau tinggal
jauh dr diri
jauh dari hati
hati terluka hanya diri yg rasa
adakah ini kehidupan?
sabar dgn pencipta
syurga menanti di sana


Assalamualaikum to all and may you have a good day. The name above mentioned is one my closest friends' name. I do not have A best friends for I have lots of them. Insyallah. I've tweeted this once "it's okay to make new friends but don't forget the old ones". Well, if it turns out that you DO forget them, maybe they're not really your closest friends. Cause once you love someone, they don't ever leave. They stay right there with you. Right in your heart.  I've been here. I've been there. Seen that. Done that. And yet, life never fail to surprise me.

It's been almost 2 months here for me in Taylors but sometimes, I still have the difficulties to blend in and mix around. I may seem cheerful and happy all the time but hey, looks deceive. So, what's the kaitan between Ummu and this post?? Everything actually. I was just looking at her pictures at FB and realised how cute she looks. Alhamdulillah. Life has given me soo much and you, my friend are one of life's most awesome gift to me.

Hehe. While I was browsing through your pictures a.k.a stalking you, I said to myself, wow Ummu has so many great memories. Gangster kampungan laa katekan. And then it struck me, life is always how you want it to be. The choice is ALWAYS yours. You are the one who chose to smile or sulk. You are the one who chose to study or not. You are the one who chose whether to say or do those embarrassing things or not. Life may have played a pert in which it can compel you to that particular something but in the end, the ones who pull the final straw, the ones who did the final decision is you.

So when life fails you, remember that when life fails you, you are the ones who failed yourselves. However, when you succeed, you're the one who gave yourself that particular gift. Do NOT forget though. Allah S.W.T. gave you that thing. What I mean is that is in terms of effort. Haha. I don't know if my tajuk is still relevant or not. Don't worry Ummu, even if some may say that the tajuk isn't relevant to the post, know that you are ALWAYS relevant in my heart:)

Tuesday, 21 August 2012


Assalamualaikum and good day peeps. So lets get back to business. Dena Bahrin's 14 weeks pregnant (wow, congrats) and maria elena's gonna get married soon (aku bile lagi...huhu). So I bet not all of you have heard of the second child syndrome term right. But since I'm a second child myself, that is why I would like to introduce the term to those who are interested. Remember life's studying is not just in the books but it's a life long journey.

Second child syndrome usually happens because the parents are usually very excited when they are having their first child but that buzzing excitement tends to die down when the second child comes in. I said that it tends to but there is still chances that that excitement will continue to live on. Hihi. So then maybe there's some sort of negligence towards the second child. Parents rarely becomes unfair towards their children but they are humans and just like any other humans, parents make mistake. So sometimes second child feels ignored and may suffer from the feeling of being unwanted.

So what are really the characteristics of a second child????

-low self esteem/ high confidence
haha. I know the 'tajuk' looks confusing. You see, when the second child tends to be 'ignored', the second child may be suffering from low self esteem as they feel that they are unwanted and not loved. So every little bit of mistakes or unfamiliarity may bring forth a sense of being uncomfortable. However, the situation may reverse. And the kid may be kinda confident and independent. Since the child are always left to tend by themselves, they become independent and know how to manage themselves earlier from the other siblings.

emmm, since the child may be left to tend to themselves a lot, second child are usually loners and not really sociable, Because even in a small society (the family) they are being outcasted and are outsiders, this would pose to become a problem in a bigger society. Sometimes it's a matter of familiarity, they have become used to being alone so why not continue to being alone?? It's more comfortable to be by yourself where people don't judge you no matter how weird or freaky you are.

-trust issues
When  we are kids, it's only natural that we want to rely on our parents and to receive help from them in anyway possible. But when second child kinda, always solve their problems by themselves, it's harder to learn to put your trust in others. To try to lean on someone else.

But really all the characteristics above are just theories. These characteristics may not stay as students will expand their social field and meet new people and meet new friends. So, really nothing is absolute in the human body. I'm a second child myself and I personally think that second child are nit hard headed/degil and awesome perharps?? ahakss

Thursday, 16 August 2012


Assalamualaikum. So it's time to look back and this is crazy but here's my number so call me maybe. Ok so that's a song right..but that doesn't matter... What really matter was the time to look back part. Okay so this part can be either good or bad. Depends on how you treat the thing really. Remember, the choice is ALWAYS yours. No one can force to do anything that you don't wanna do. No matter how the situation may be. Bonda always says that sometimes we can't just keep looking up cause here and then, it's important to look down and know what you've been through. To know what you did. And what you didn't .

Life for me now is soooooo very different from what I thought it would be. Lots of things which I expected to be impossible happened. The closest example would be of course where I am studying now. I mean I've dreamt of going to Taylors bit it's a private college so then I thought it was not possible. Then Bursary came and made everything happen. Well not really everything. Anyway, then I met a few people and got really close with some of them. And now I understand that you can never give everything to one person cause that one person will never be a strong anchor. Just as how your feelings can vary, his/ hers can too. Depend on HIM only and you'll find life just a tiny bit easier to deal with.

You already know how the people here study like ALL the time. And I should be doing the same also. I don't know how I got my a+. Mmmg rezeki dr Allah semata2. Aduss. Since I was back in school, I was  a bit slow in my studies. I have to read and reread and rereread again to understand something and do like a thousands exercise. When I was in Form 5, the stress was really high and I cried like all the time. Pak Yem called me for add and for PA. Teacher Rizah was worried for me for Physics. But I got through that. Of course with help from evryone especially HIM.

So, I'm not gonna give up no matter how bouncy the road may be. No matter how low my marks may be. No matter how smart everyone else is from me. I just have to organize my time more smartly , work a little bit harder, do a thousands more exercise and finish all my homework. Then ill surely get my a* right.. now let's just figure out a way to do all of the above

Saturday, 4 August 2012


Haha. Such a boring topic kan. but what can i say, there's nothing but the truth. Before I forget, Ya Robbi, it's already Ramdhan and I wonder why I didn't change much from last month of ramadhan. It's been ages since I last updated my blog. And seriously, it's been err kinda hectic for me. And aku punya fon bukannnya boleh online pun. Fon cikai jee. Tp tu fon pertama kot and hadiah SPM tau. So mmg hargai tau. Thanks mama. By the way, yesterday was mama's birthday and tomorrow is Wafiqah's birthday and today is JGS's birthday. Heheh. Happy birthday to all and remember I love you. And I do NOT sayy that for the fun of it. It is because I truly mean it. The love goes to Jang Geun Seuk also. What can I do?? The guy has fabulous hair and is more beautiful than more women I ever encountered. 

Alright enough introduction.Wanna know Why I miss you guys, it's because I love you guys soo much of course. What can be the reason other than the above?? Nope. Nothing that I can think of. When I was first got the offer to go to STF, I jumped with joy. Cause I was happy. Only Allah knows that STF had soo much to offer to me more than I can ever think of. It was quite awkward at first. But then as usual, friends just had to step in and make everything just SPLENDID:). And I never regretted my years in STF. Especially during this Ramadhan. Even aku selalu tidur time terawih (and still do unfortunately), I can't believe I'm about to say this but I miss teh heat of MUFAZ and the sheer packness of it. And the time when we were so silent during our iftar that even Ustazah Mazura pitied us. And how tha wardens shouted at us for eating more( though we were bejotting at that time). 

Yes I made new friends here in Taylors but hey what can I say?? You guys are simply the best. When we grew up in STF, we spent a solid 5 years there. That is kind of a big deal you know. That was period where some of us may be having their first period and crying because of it maybe? When we were still trying to find that personal personality where we can finally that someone that we can truly be. C'mon. We were just trying to grow up into something really foreign  that neither of us can ever predict. I mean , at least I feel that way. I was COMPLETELY different from who I was when I was in primary secondary. If let say that the me from when I was in primary school was going to visit the me in STF, i'm sure that the past me wasn't gonna recognize the other me. I was THAT different. And because you guys helped me through that super awkward period, I can really be my very weird and quirky self when I'm with you guys. Hihihi. Do take that as a compliment, Even someone from Taylor's said that I was weird. (Though I tried very hard to be non-weird and all that nonsense stuff).

 Currently adoring this song since beetles and roses<3

So you get the picture right that I ultimately, unconditionally and irrevocably MISS you guys. Though you guys may not feel the same bout me. Sob2. Sorry no new pictures of me. But seriously I think I lost some weight. HIHI.